


should i stay or should i go?

by littlelamplight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Minor Astra/Alex Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21967669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight
Summary: With Argo's arrival, Kara finds herself torn between the home she had, and the one she's made. Will she decide to stay on Earth, or return to Argo?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Cat Grant
Comments: 8
Kudos: 143
Collections: Super Santa Femslash 2019





	should i stay or should i go?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YouSetTheTone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouSetTheTone/gifts).



This isn't the first time she's found herself on Cat's personal balcony during a time of stress. It's become almost a habit, coming here after something's happened, when she's struggling with something, where she just wants some quiet to think. Sometimes she wonders if she's there more for Cat than the location, but it always helps. And she could use some help now. 

'Supergirl?'

Kara turns, and despite the turmoil swirling around in her head, she manages an almost smile at the sight of Cat, her head tilted just slightly as she watches her. 'Hey', she says softly, her voice as heavy as the weight pressing down on her shoulders, 'i hope you don't mind. Coming here always helps me think'.

Cat's mouth quirks, but there's a faint crease between her brows that tells Kara she's concerned. 'Make yourself at home'. 

Kara nods slightly, resting her elbows on the edge of the balcony and closing her eyes. After a moment, there's the tap of heels against concrete, and Cats arm almost brushes hers as she come to stand beside her. She feels acutely, painfully aware of how close Cat is, of the warmth radiating from her skin, burning through the soft shirt and the material of her super suit, and she half wonders if she'd burst into flames if she actually reached out and touched her bare skin. 

'Has something happened?' 

Cat's voice is soft, in that way it is so rarely, and yet somehow so frequently these days, in moments of vulnerability and private between them, and she moves, drawn towards her like there's magnetism in her voice that speaks straight to her heart. Their arms press together, and she lets out a trembling sigh. 'You could say that'.

Cat makes a questioning sound, but doesn't push. She’s good like that. Never making Kara feel as if there's some expectation to tell her the secret she’s sure Cat already knows. It's why she's been so comfortable around her. And yet. 

And yet she can't tell her what’s wrong, without telling her the truth. 

She can't talk to Alex about this, not when she knows it would hurt her. It's not that she's  _ afraid  _ of telling her, it's just that she knows Alex is afraid of losing her. She knows that, and it's not as simple as that. 

She turns to look at Cat, and takes a moment to simply look at her. She takes in the way her hair falls softly about her face, the broad slants of her cheekbones and the delicate shape of her mouth. The way she’s looking back at her, like she's focused all her attention on her, like there's nothing else that matters more than what she might say.

'I'm Kara Danvers', she says, the confession a gentle exhale between them, and some of the tightness around her ribs eases a little, 'but you know that, don't you?'

Cat nods slowly, her eyes roving over her face as if to search for what prompted this sudden revaluation. 'I knew'. 

Kara closes her eyes for a moment, letting this new truth settle between them. To adjust to what she has known for a while - that Cat is well aware of who she is, and has no expectations of being told. 

It means more to her than she can describe.

She turns so that their shoulders press together again, and lifts her hand, pointing towards the new star in the heavens, big and tinged a little blue. 'See that star?'

Cat leans closer, head tilted against her shoulder to follow the slope of her arm. 'Mhm'.

'Its Argo'. Kara lowers her hand, biting her lip as she stares skywards. All the lights of a thousand stars shining down on them, and one of them is her lost home. 'Krypton's main city. It survived the planets destruction'. 

It’s still hard to believe, even though it's been her new reality for a whole week now. Her home survived. Her people, her culture, her society all survived. Her mother survived.

Her mother has been slowly steering a great asteroid through space for years, trying desperately to find her. She never gave up. 

Her heart feels full and tight, and she hates how torn she feels. 

'Your home survived?' There's a note of something like awe in her voice, and something else Kara can't identify. 

'And my mom'. Despite everything, a smile curves her lips, and she exhales a breathless laugh. 'It was... so good to see her, Cat. I got to hug her again. To be hugged by her. I... I never thought I'd have that'.

Cat hums softly, and rests a hand lightly on her back. 'Then why aren't you there now?' 

Kara glances at her. There's no judgement in her face, just an honest curisoity, and her hand feels like it's burning through her suit. She sighs, and murmurs, 'i was, for most of this week. I was visiting with Alex, and my Aunt Astra'. 

She'd cried when she's reunited with her mother, but she'd cried harder watching her aunt and her mother hugging for the first time. She knew Astras feelings about Alura had changed a lot since she'd switched sides and started to spend more time with her, and Alex. She knew she'd missed her sister. Still, she hadn't been prepared for the sight of her aunt collapsing against Alura's shoulder and sobbing like a child. 

'But?' Cat prompts gently, her hand moving in soothing circles over her back. 

'But I had to come back and help. Astra and Alex are still visiting, and it's not like I can't go back at any time with the transporters set up. But I...' she bites her lip, and closes her eyes. 'But there’s a difference between visiting and... and living there'.

'Ah'. 

Kara heaves a sigh, and runs a hand through her hair. 'It’s just... I feel so torn. Earth has been my home for so long, but... but now my old home is here too. And when I went... it was so much like I remember, Cat. The colours and the sounds. It's greener now, but... but it's still the home I lost'. She drops her head into her hands, and groans. 'But my life is here. My job that I love, my friends. I love being Supergirl. And I know Alex would come with me if I wanted to move, but she has a life here too. She and Astra just moved in together, and I don't know if Astra wants to live on Argo'. 

'You're part of both worlds, Kara'. There's something about the way her name sounds falling from Cats tongue like that, when she's still in her super suit, pressed together from hip to shoulder, that makes her shiver. 'Who says you have to chose?'

'I do'. She gives Cat a wry smile. 'Because even if I can visit, I'll have to spend the majority of my time somewhere'. 

Cat turns to face her, her forearm resting against the balcony, her head tilted slightly. In the warm light from her office, her hair gleams gold. 'Then you have to decide what is best for you. Not for anyone else. Not Alex, or your aunt, or your mother. Not the people of National City. Just you'.

Kara chokes on a laugh. 'Isn’t that a bit selfish?'

'Darling, if anyone has earned the right to be a little selfish, it's you'. 

A faint flush colours her cheeks, and yet she can't bring herself to look away. Cat's eyes gleam like the stars calling her home, and she hears herself say, 'what about you?'

Cat arches an eyebrow. 'What about me?'

'What do you think I should do?'

Cat laughs softly, and shakes her head slightly. 'It doesn't matter what I think'. 

'It does to me'. She’s a little surprised by the vehemence in her voice. She turns her body to face Cats, and they're standing so close they almost press together. 'What you want matters to me. I'd like... I'd like to know'.

Cat blinks up at her. It's impossible to tell what she's thinking, and Kara holds her breath, listening to the frantic beat of her own heart. There seems to be an echo to it that makes it sound faster, and a beat later Kara realises that it's the sound of Cat's heart, pounding against her ribs like it's trying to reach for her. Kara's throat goes very dry. 

'i...' she's never heard Cat sound hesitant before, and she finds herself leaning closer to hear her. her hand touches Cat's shoulder almost of its own accord, and Cats eyes darken when her fingers brush the hair from her cheek. 'honestly?'

Kara smiles. 'Have you ever been anything but?'

Cat smiles, quick and bright. Her hand comes up to rest on Kara's shoulder, and she twists a lock of hair around her fingers. She hums softly, and the sound reverberates in her chest. 'Simply? I don't want you to leave'. Her fingers brush Kara's jaw, and she smiles gently. 'I don't want you to leave me. But -'

Kara kisses her. No hesitation, no buts, no conflict. She kisses her because she wants to, and because she's wanted to for a long time. It might be the easiest thing in the world, leaning forward to capture Cat's lips in a soft kiss, her hand sliding up into her hair to cradle the back of her head. Cat kisses her back with that sureness she always has, like she's simply been waiting for Kara to realise she could. Maybe she has. 

When she pulls away, she rests their foreheads together, stroking her thumb over the rise of her cheekbone. She feels steadier somehow, and Cat makes a pleased sound at the back of her throat. Kara huffs a gentle laugh, and murmurs, 'I don't know what I'll decide yet, but... You should come visit with me. I think you'd really like it, and I know my mom would love to meet you'. 

Cat chuckles. 'First chance to interview the woman who brought a city on an asteroid all the way across space to find her long lost daughter? How could I refuse?'

Kara laughs. Its light and genuine, filling her up as she wraps her arms around Cat and pulls her in for another kiss. Whatever she decides, she thinks, she'll be happy. She has her world and her mother, her aunt and her sister, her friends and her job and her time as Supergirl. Maybe she even has Cat.

What else could she need?


End file.
